A.async = !0; George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. Whats that, a bonus? " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. Use your fucking heads! } The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. When you die, it all stays here. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Authors. George Carlin. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Lets get started! Who the fuck is going to invade the US? Feel free to reach out and connect. He was an American standup comedian. People are wonderful. Then you live in an old age home. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. I look at war a little. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. "ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. " George Carlin 15. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. Source; . The future will soon be a thing of the past. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. October 29, 2004. They own all the important land. Quotes. This is the best we can do folks. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. return null; Just daydreaming. But once youre born, youre on your own. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. Are these people kidding? Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. } else { Lists. And the supreme arrogance? George Carlin "The planet is fine. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. We havent tried that for a while. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Your email address will not be published. In America, anyone can become president. Stand-Up Comedy. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. You and I are not in the big club. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. "Never argue with an idiot. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. var isRetina = window.devicePixelRatio >= 2; // retina display Enjoy! If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. [.] This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. }); Were so self-important. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { Deal with it. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Because theres no money in that problem. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. return false; Its never going to get any better. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. #privileges. The planet is fine. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. He loves you and he needs money. People are wonderful one at a time. // page settings Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. They should be more vivid. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. function q(c, r) { 2023 Inspirationfeed. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. Ever. And fight songs. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. window.Mobvious = {}; Its disgusting, man. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? They own everything. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. gads.type = "text/javascript"; My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. setDisplayBids: function() {}, } He loves you. > Quotable Quote. if (isRetina) { The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? return true; We havent tried that for a while. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. The table is tilted, folks. " George Carlin 14. If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Period. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. var googletag = googletag || {}; Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. They own everything. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Its a great feeling. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. Like the boogie man. This is the best we can do folks. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? And armbands. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Thank you! May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. //]]> The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. 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