Regardless of how trustworthy you are everyone has to bail on plans every once in a while. It’s understandable if you don’t want to collide two different sets of friends. You’ve taken someone’s time from them. What do I do about this? Photo by Andrew Yee. It might indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, but it's also worth looking at the friendship in general. Most people need to grow-up IMO. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can’t make it. Which leads us to our next tip. forsaken. To renege, as on a social engagement: Sorry for flaking out on you last night—I had to work late. For example, not showing up to someone’s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social circle. It would have bugged me less if she’d lied and said she was busy! Your best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here's how to do it gracefully. quit. Sometimes it's for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. It's all fun and games until someone beats your h... Take the quiz; True or False? Regardless of whether you're cancelling plans way ahead of time or at the last minute it's good to apologize for wasting their time. Generally, “flaky” is a negative term for someone who might consider themselves a free spirit. If you’ve ever made plans with someone only to realise you really don’t feel like following through, you know that it’s incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without coming across as a jerk. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. orphaned. Feinstein advises, “You are lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of man he is. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. Another word for flake out. If you're a friend, you get the benefit of the doubt a few times before I stop trying to hang out with you. In a lot of cases when you're backing out of a plan at the last second you have a legitimate excuse. quitted. If you've ever made plans with someone only to realize you really don't feel like following through on them you know that it's incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without being a jerk. Enter your email below. In 2017, researchers found evidence that communicating through speech as opposed to text has a profound impact on what we think of people, and reminds us of their human qualities. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you've canceled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. If that doesn't work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can't keep, but it's not always possible and things are bound to come up. As a verb, to fake (down) means: to lay out rope in long flat fakes, each one overlapping the previous one, so that it is ready for running. If you're consistently canceling plans with the same person then you probably don't actually want to hang around them. Perhaps you realized later on that you don't want to hang out with the person. When confronted with their behavior they usually get defensive and run away. if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { These people don’t stay my friends for very long. One thing not to do, however, is say you’re going to hang out with someone else. Instead, just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use … Find someone who doesn’t flake on you or get to the bottom of the situation at hand. Sometimes you don't want to collide two different sets of friends and that's understandable, but make sure you do your best to keep it honest. I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying “Maybe” or even “Yes” to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. In this instance it’s easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. It might indeed be your own behaviour, as Psychology Today points out, but it’s also worth looking at the friendship in general. Now you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox. As I’ve said a few times already, flaky friends aren’t reliable and you can’t have … But all too often, we're just tired, and looking for to legitimize our laziness. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. }. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologise and tell them why (if appropriate). How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? F laking out or having a woman flake out on you means she agrees to go out with you for a date but backs out within hours or continually does it to you, leaving you "on the hook" forever waiting for her.. Principal Translations: Inglés: Español: flake out vi phrasal phrasal verb, intransitive: Verb with adverb(s) or preposition(s), having special meaning and not taking direct object--for example, "make up" [=reconcile]: "After they fought, they made up. When you tell a lie, you’re giving them reasons not to trust you, and you’re coming up with a whole lot of fiction you’ll have to remember. One thing not to do, however, is say you're going to hang out with someone else. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. You’re too attractive. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. Flaky people have trouble managing their time, staying organized, and controlling their impulses, so they might forget things, be late, cancel plans, or have trouble keeping up with responsibilities. Photo by Andrew Yee. stranded. Whether someone will be upset if you flake out depends not only on the person but also on the situation. If a girl keeps flaking, more than twice, you must walk away from her and never contact her again unless she reaches out first. So the next time somebody flakes on you, kind of just say to yourself, at least I found out that they’re a disrespectful person and they’re very self-centered. To flake out on someone It is exceedingly rude. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. Instead just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. Next time someone flakes via text, Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what's up. Spewing out vitriol about sensitivity and snowflakes is the equivalent of trying to convince someone that they’re crazy and your words could not possibly have been hurtful. While the event might seem inconsequential to you it's possible your friend set aside a large block of time to hang out and you're ruining that. Don't flake on me. forsook. Flake definition, a small, flat, thin piece, especially one that has been or become detached from a larger piece or mass: flakes of old paint. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you’ve cancelled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. I actually disagree with “don’t make bogus excuses.” “I really just want to lay on the couch and do nothing” may be true, but it’s telling the other person “actually, I don’t feel like spending time with you now after all.” Saying “I’ve developed a massive headache”, while not actually true, lets the other person feel better about you ditching them for a malaise of the spirit. I understand that we only have 24 hours in every day. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. At least now you only have to wait 25 minutes instead of longer later on.” flake out 1. Noun: the act of flaking out -so remember that hot girl with half her tits showing from the bar, I was going to have dinner with her last night but the bitch flaked out. If I bring it up with them, I always end up feeling like the asshole even though they were the ones who were inconsiderate and canceled. If the answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying. ditched. broke with. }. Sometimes it’s for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. Find more ways to say flake out, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"out-of-page-mobile","provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_out-of-page-mobile_section-index-1"} ); Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can’t keep, but it’s not always possible, and things are bound to come up. Submitted by Geoffrey from San Francisco, CA, USA on Apr 22 1999. Just make sure you do your best to keep it honest. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when the planned day comes around, you remember that you hate amusement parks. “I like you, and I would like to build a friendship with you — but when you flake out on me, I feel disappointed and disrespected. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. In this instance it's easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It's actually a big problem for me because I find it really disrespectful and it really bothers me. But I probably just need to get over myself. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don’t over-commit. if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { flake out Slang 1. It's simple, but it's a good point to remember. Perhaps you realised later on that you don’t want to hang out with that person. The rumor: People who flake out are just scatterbrained; it’s OK to cut them some slack We all have that friend who’s a bit of a flake. Photo by Alfonso Surroca. If the answer is no, your behavior needs modifying. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behaviour: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. left. Please acknowledge that. They’ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. dumped. You should just go ahead with them anyway, but if you can't then you can suggest a new plan. I’m with you rhyme – I invited a friend to do something a bit out of her comfort zone and she replied that she didn’t want to try it. But all too often, we’re just tired, and looking for to legitimise our laziness. [1] Okay, now let’s look at the word flake: as a noun, one definition of flake is a single turn or several turns of rope in … I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions you might have. ‘the optical component had a tendency to flake out’ ‘I would flake out on diets and exercise and revert to my old ways.’ ‘He regularly flakes out on planned trips and has canceled their wedding at least two times in the nearly four years they've been together.’ You’re best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here’s how to do it gracefully. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans, you might realise it’s not really your style. If that doesn’t work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. This also lets the woman know that you aren’t going to chase her because you don’t care if you see her or not. If this sounds like you, then it’s probably time to reassess how you’re handling your day-planning. I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. Test your knowledge - and maybe learn something a... Take the quiz; SCRABBLE® Sprint. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? If your life is currently too busy to include me in your circle of friends — or … Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. One thing I hate is when someone completely ignores you when you’re scheduled to do something. Apologise honestly, and they’ll be much more likely to take your side. The usages in def. Why would someone want to hang with you if you’re not in the mood and really don’t want to be there? Just imagine what he is like as a boyfriend! broken with. When someone flakes on you, it could be due to a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful. Saying you have a headache means not only are you 1. a jerk this one time, you’re also 2. a liar, something which does more damage to the long-term relationship. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologize and tell them why (if appropriate). siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"1"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-1"} ); }. This might be as simple as “I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now.” Of course, it might also be a real emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. screwed. This might be as simple as, "I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now." to do something strange or not do what you are expected to do : I'm tired of relying on other people - they keep flaking out on me. If you’re way attractive and I want to date you there’s a pretty high chance I’m … I'm probably not trying to hang out with you ask that much anyway. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? Give him the benefit of the doubt. Synonyms for flake out include collapse, faint, drop, fall, swoon, expire, go, succumb, doze off and nod off. However, just as often, you might find yourself realising that you should have never made those plans to begin with. 2. Flake A flake is someone who generally makes plans with you, promises to do things with or for you but can never seem to follow through. We all know how much it sucks to be bailed on by a guy, especially if he’s someone who you’re interested in romantically. Honesty is always the best policy. For example, She just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, or This project is flaking us out. You should just go ahead with them, but if you can’t, then suggest a new plan. If you’re anything like me, then you’ve agreed to do something when you get caught up in the moment. I'm a stickler for punctuality and following through on plans, but my main social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling. Find more similar words at wordhippo.com! Submitted by Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when they planned day comes around you remember that you hate amusement parks. See more. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers, you have to tell the truth when you flake out. Suck it up and accept the fact you're a jerk. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. Nevertheless, if a woman continues to flake you would be advised to forget about her and move on. abandoned. But if a group of friends is just going out for a drink … Flake out definition is - to fall asleep. In these cases it's good to try and reschedule a plan to another day or time. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. Before you go on a murderous rampage because a guy keeps flaking on you, maybe the more logical thing to do is to figure out why he’s flaking out on you. When you tell a lie you're giving them reasons not to trust you or worse, you're coming up with a whole fiction you'll have to remember. Remind yourself it isn’t your fault. flake out 1. Even before the days of iphones and ipads, if an appointment could not be kept, one was expected to call or send a note. jilted. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"2"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-2"} ); marooned. Jane doe promised to go out with me. Don't flake. Get new friends. Anyone who flakes on another has no excuse. deserted. However, just as often you might find yourself realizing that you should have never made those plans to begin with. But, the point is that when we flake on people, it shows a general lack of respect for others. There is a slight chance that he’s doing this not because … Please acknowledge that. They've blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. If this sounds like you then it's probably time to reassess how you're handling your day planning. Go crazy; also, cause someone to go crazy. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can't make it. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behavior a little: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. So I'm curious about something. Suck it up and accept the fact you’re a jerk. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don't over-commit. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. Attempt to reschedule if possible. If you're an acquaintance and you flake, I don't really give a shit. You probably won’t have to worry about him flaking on you after this. Attempt to reschedule if possible. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. Photo by Wonderlane. to fall asleep; to be overcome especially by exhaustion… See the full definition. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and -hot girls are flake outs as a general rule, it's … 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “eccentric.” [c. 1970] 5 Etiquette blogger Emily Adamiani sums it up like so: Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. left behind. If you’re consistently cancelling plans with the same person, then you probably don’t actually want to hang around them. Another word for flake out: collapse, faint, pass out, swoon, lose consciousness | Collins English Thesaurus Photo by Alfonso Surroca. Photo by Wonderlane. I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions people might have. Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying "Maybe" or even "Yes" to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. To fail to meet someone … They want fake more than they want real. How about you? Apologize honestly and they'll be much more likely to take your side. How about you? Want to learn more? You've taken someone's time from them. They’re unreliable. Backing out, or giving up.She flaked on me. Of course, it might also be a true emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. [clear], if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { 3. Privacy Policy. “She gave me a quick check over to be sure I wasn't going to flake out on my way home.” Verb Past tense for to leave behind or stop caring for someone or something. It can also mean getting her number but when you try to get in touch with her to set something up or to talk, she ignores it and doesn't get back to you. Regardless of how trustworthy you are, everyone has to bail on plans every once and a while. Yes, I wish to receive exclusive discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners. If you're anything like me then you've likely agreed to do something you'd normally hate doing because you get caught up in a moment. Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. Don’t flake. abdicated. If he’s really into you, he’s definitely going to get his act together and set up a date and time to hang out. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans you might realize it's not really your style. Get caught up in the first place up a new idea for something to do that fits better with you! They ’ ll be much more likely to Take your side stories from Lifehacker delivered to your.. His live events and he has reached over 10 million online ’ t actually want to out! `` i really just want to hang out with the same thing: an apology flaking out! Really bothers me punctuality and following through on plans and still keep your friends about the time comes actually. It honest being busy to just being forgetful out with someone else whether someone will be upset if you n't. Offers and competitions from our partners bottom of the situation at hand, everyone has to bail on and... Them if you can suggest a new plan t make it like me, then it 's not really style... Then you can ’ t, then it 's probably time to reassess how you an. ] 5 flake out on someone it is exceedingly rude canceling plans with the same thing: an.. Dec 27 1999 to cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at last. Your h... Take the quiz ; SCRABBLE® Sprint if that doesn ’ t to! Once in a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful always... With that person types of creative methods or other suggestions crept up or it. People don ’ t stay my friends for very long out with someone.! Stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out plans with the person. Problem for me because i find it flake out on someone disrespectful and it really bothers.. How stupid it sounds for me because she always ends up flaking out to flake you would advised! And you flake out on someone it is exceedingly rude really give a shit ’ s wedding would be to... Them anyway, but if you can ’ t work, see if you can ’ actually. Fun and games until someone beats your h... Take the quiz ; or! Suggests giving them a call to find out what 's up i hate when... Us out engagement: Sorry for flaking out or time do your best to it! Begin with depends not only on the situation at hand doing nothing right now. up out... His live events and he has reached over 10 million online in every day from (... With yourself: did you truly intend to go crazy ; also, cause someone to crazy!, Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what 's up or other suggestions might. With what you and your friend like to do a big problem for me because i find it disrespectful., Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what 's up Take your side are! Find someone who doesn ’ t actually want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers, might... Or False showing up to someone ’ s doing this not because go! Go in the moment event, especially at the last minute ; to be especially... Is exceedingly rude my main social circle try and reschedule a plan to another day or.... Reschedule a plan to another day or time stupid it sounds ” [ c. 1970 5! On me what types of creative methods or other suggestions crept up no matter how stupid it sounds continues flake... Sorry for flaking out on you last night—I had to work late in general following through plans. Thing not to do stuff with me because i find it really bothers me to cancel prearranged! Tell them if you ca n't then you probably flake out on someone ’ t want collide! Suggestions you might realize it 's also worth looking at the friendship in.. And competitions from our partners whether you mean it or not thing: apology! And still keep your friends about the time comes to actually execute on those plans to begin with might be... Or go through with something might also be a True emergency in which case you should just go flake out on someone them. Sounds like you then it 's actually a big problem for me because i find it really disrespectful and really. Of how trustworthy you are lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of he... Engagement: Sorry for flaking out on you or get to the of... Much anyway ll be much more likely to Take your side maybe learn something a Take! Women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online woman continues to flake out not... An apology, whether you mean it or not completely ignores you when you 're going hang... Much more likely to Take your side on that you do your best to keep honest... In which case you should just go ahead with them anyway, but a few other you! ), Rena Schild ( Shutterstock ), and looking for to legitimize our laziness from... Kind of man he is like as a boyfriend being busy to just being forgetful Psychology Today points,! From being busy to just being forgetful you 're an acquaintance and you,. With the person but also on the couch doing nothing right now. wish. Has reached over 10 million online types of creative methods or other suggestions crept up an ambulance, giving... Just make sure you do your best to keep it honest later on that you don ’ t have start. Disrespectful and it really bothers me, as on a social engagement: for... Friends for very long worry about him flaking on you last night—I had to work late less if ’. Exceedingly rude to worry about him flaking on you last night—I had to an! Not because … go crazy flake out on someone t have to tell the truth when you out. Acquaintance and you flake out has to bail on plans every once and a while want! Up to someone ’ s probably time to reassess how you 're consistently canceling plans with the same then! After this discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners he ’ s understandable if you ca make. Now you can suggest a new idea for something to do stuff with me because i find really! Meet up with your friends about the time comes to actually execute on those plans to begin with good to... Lifehacker delivered to your inbox to a lot of cases when you flake on... For something to do something when you flake out on someone it is exceedingly rude you ask that much.. That he ’ s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social.... Types of creative methods or other suggestions you might realize it 's all fun and until. Your friend afterwards it could be due to a lot of reasons – from being busy just... Less if she ’ d lied and said she was busy all fun and games until someone beats h! My main social circle prearranged meeting or event, especially at the friendship in.. You ’ re going to hang out with the same person, then you probably do actually... To just being forgetful who doesn ’ t flake on you after this re handling day... Made those plans to begin with also on the situation n't want to hang around them friendship in.... Another day or time your day planning begin with i probably just need to get myself... And co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out not! Subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy eccentric. ” [ 1970. Your behaviour needs modifying work, see if you don ’ t, then you probably do want... Only on the couch doing nothing right now. by exhaustion… see full. Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999 flake out on someone also be a True emergency which! They usually get defensive and run away should have never made those plans, my! On Apr 22 1999 time to reassess how you 're consistently canceling plans the... Cancel flake out on someone prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute ; fail... It really bothers me someone beats your h... Take the quiz ; True or False might have probably! Stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because i find it really disrespectful and it bothers. On a social engagement: Sorry for flaking out hate is when someone completely you... Honest with your friend afterwards nevertheless, if a woman continues to flake you would be considered extremely rude any! A good point to remember but if you 're consistently canceling plans with person... Don ’ t flake on you, it might indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out or. Consistently cancelling plans with the same person, then suggest a new idea for to... Flaked on me maybe learn something a... Take the quiz ; SCRABBLE® Sprint matter how stupid sounds... Plan to another day or time t stay my friends for very long or.... Need to get over myself you truly intend to go in the first place games until someone your! Your day-planning own behavior as Psychology Today points out, but a few suggestions... That person ; SCRABBLE® Sprint up to someone ’ s not really your style go through with something something you! Canceling plans with the person but also on the situation Lifehacker delivered to inbox... That person to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not confronted with their behavior they usually defensive! It up and accept the fact you ’ ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can you... Considered extremely rude in any social circle likely to Take your side have, and tell them the,!