If you agree to everything — from other people’s requests to each tiny notification on your phone — your entire life will happen at the behest of forces outside your control. If you meet someone and make assumptions about them based on appearance or kinesics–stick to your guns and never let them change your opinion. When someone hurts you, it’s hard to find the reason to be kinder to them. Being miserable is a way of life for some people because they get sympathy, constant reassurance from other miserable people and a sense of self, defined by whatever circumstance they find themselves in. Sure, you can respond to them as mercilessly as they’ve been to you, but this will only make a bad situation worse. Total Number of Views: 60. They dwell on regrets of the past and worries about the future, both of which keep them from growing and becoming a better version of themselves. No matter how you spin it, of those 30,000 days, some 28,000 will be boring. You might feel miserable because they’ve hurt you and you might feel guilty because you was rude to them. They blame everything and everyone except themselves, and it holds them back from making the best of today for a better tomorrow. Read also – 7 Ways to Break a Habit of Judging Others. This way, you’ll feel less hatred toward them. It will allow others to know what a wonderful and smart person you are. This is a skill you can learn — to find the good in normality. I suspect for you, a good life will look similar. This is a good reason for me to be kinder to rude people and those who’ve hurt me. It’s about enjoying the little things. Don’t give up. Saying no isn’t just important to your mental health, it’s also how you make room for serendipity. This year, pledge to get so inebriated that you’ll do something deeply humiliating. Once you start to show kindness, your urge to be kind will grow. This lie functions on the premise that a good Christian is a miserable Christian. Our tunnel-vision emphasis on the importance of money has led to another pernicious problem. Question: How prevalent is job misery? The Stoics saw it as the capital mistake in living a good life and made it the maxim of their philosophy to fight it: Know what you can and can’t control. I'm sure that is an oxymoron, but I am guessing you know the kind of people I mean and we're on the same page. One reason miserable people stay in their negative spiral is that their self-image constantly collides with the outside world, mostly because said self-image is poorly defined. Don’t. As they say “I am happy to loose one of my eyes if the other loses both”. It softens your attitude towards them. To them, however, every time it rains is a personal affront. It is, however, our habits with which we can prevent that state in the first place, at least most of the time. Les Misérables (/ l eɪ ˌ m ɪ z ə ˈ r ɑː b əl,-b l ə /, French: [le mizeʁabl(ə)]) is a French historical novel by Victor Hugo, first published in 1862, that is considered one of the greatest novels of the 19th century.. The truth is there are a million ways to be happy — most of them small to the point of being imperceptible — but only a handful of those giant, man-made problems. Don’t get offended so easily. Lucky breaks need white space to even occur. None of these things are better than being alone, no matter how unpleasant solitude can be. Miserable people are often terrified of being alone. Of course, it’s not true. It’s always a good idea to kill people who’ve hurt you with kindness (as the saying goes) than hurt them in return. To me, every day when I’m not sick, stressed, or the victim of some drama I don’t control is a good day. Being in a bad mood when your physiology is off isn’t even a habit, it’s a rule of nature. Maybe your kindness will make them admit their mistake and apologize. I tried to talk to my boyfriend but he literally fell asleep 10 seconds after I said "I'm miserable and I cried for the past 20 minutes". “Miserable People Like To Make Everyone Around Them Miserable ... and don’t afford you the same kind of permissiveness you gave them. Distraction is a tricky source of misery because it’s hard to see in real-time. It has fueled an insidious two-tiered vision of education, in which there is one kind of school for the needy and another kind for the masters of the universe. The Amazon best-seller gave this rare nugget of wisdom in a recent tweet he shared via his official Twitter page. It’s hard to change someone’s behavior towards you, but you need to at least try. The most practical way to live a happy life is to avoid being miserable. If you don’t know where your limits are or where you should set personal boundaries, life will show you the hard way. People have had terrible things happen,” said Don McNay, 56, a financial consultant to lottery winners and the author of … So that they can get a taste of their own medicine as when they have been bitter with someone else in life. Published On: September 04th 2017, Monday @ 4:02:22 AM. There is a freedom that our age seems subtly yet horribly keen to deny us: the freedom to be miserable. Nature is “the teacher of last resort.” Every time you clash with a person or crash when facing a challenge, there is a lesson to learn. Carefully weigh your commitments. So look at what you dislike about yourself, recognize it in someone else and be mean to them. 3. It’s a challenging task, but try not to hurt anyone in return. You’ll go to work, feed the cat, meet a friend, and watch TV at night. It’s going to be miserable.” Of course, … Never say please, thank you, excuse me, and ESPECIALLY don’t ever ask for help. [Message] Well, our subject for this evening is “How to be Really Miserable,” and we have weather to go along with it. Don’t work in a toxic environment because the job pays well. When a person is miserable, they never see or expect the good in anything and always try to make those around them feel just as bad and negative as them. When someone hurts you in front of others, being kind to them won’t show to others that you are weak. Ideas usually come one after another like waves on the beach. They lack perspective on how they small they are — one of nearly eight billion — and, as a result, they can see neither what’s good about their lives and what they should be grateful for nor what they control about the situation and what they can do to change it. Many people think that kindness is a sign of weakness, but it’s not true. The free cookie you get with your coffee. ... its core cast were mostly pretty shark-like, self-absorbed, and kind of terrible (or at least very dark) people. ... when someone tells them they are a busybody, ... That kind of misery just feels sooooo good! It’s a commonality all miserable people share: They miss the good in the present because they’re all-consumed by some invisible problem. Read also – 7 Smart Ways to Recover from Betrayal. Understand yourself. Lencioni: Attend any kind of social gathering, anywhere in the country, and talk about work. Another reason to be kinder to someone who’s hurt you is because it can soften your attitude toward them. When you’re kinder to someone who has hurt you, you’ll feel good about yourself and you will know that you are better than that person. People around you will perceive you as a smart and strong person who knows what to say in a difficult situation. I have finally come to the conclusion that some people like to be miserable, that they actually feel happier when they are miserable. I will not tell you how I feel about you. If you see a show that's rather boring, or a cookie-cutter factory show, you'll usually find some pretty uninteresting, boring people behind it. I soon realized that there were three personality types who gain pleasure from being miserable. Don’t jump into relationships because you’re lonely. Just like Henry James once said, “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” Below is the list of a few undeniable reasons to be kinder to people who have hurt you. So perhaps it is designed that way by God in Heaven. None of us are born self-aware, but that’s not a problem as long as we keep working on this crucial skill. Don’t jump into relationships because you’re lonely. They’d rather spend their time with folks who aren’t good for them than face the negative chatter in their mind. Avoid communicating with them, instead surround yourself with kind and positive people who make you happy. Everyone is different. You’ll enjoy your own company. Everyone is trying their best and no one wants to feel inadequate, so all you do by focusing on the negative and what’s wrong is putting spokes in your own wheels. 'If you love something God will take it away and replace it with something you hate.' Here are eight of them and how to not let them derail your every day. (I mean, they're not bad parents, I like them, they're ok). No matter how painful your situation might be, it’s important to be nice and kind to others. boredom, stagnation, and a victim-mindset, 3 Science-Based Psychological Tricks That Can Influence Your Happiness, 5 Important Lessons Running Taught Me About Life, What I’ve Learned After 21 Days of Meditation, Ippuku-the Japanese art of taking breaks in small doses, 3 Science-Backed Skincare Ingredients You Need To Use, Why You Should Get Up Early … If You Want to be Insufferable, Miserable, and Uncreative. Avoiding misery won’t give you a perfect life, but it’ll ensure you find happiness along the way — no matter where it leads. What about alcohol? It can’t be desirable. You might think small steps don’t matter, but they do. I also don't want them to know I'm feeling miserable. Moreover, the person who’ve hurt you will notice your kindness as well, whether they want it or not. Being rude in return means that you might feel down about two things. Just kidding, no person is bitter and miserable since birth. It’s not easy, nothing’s free, and, generally, the world at large doesn’t care about you. A miserable person is miserable because the way he or she views the world is miserable. Be curious. What’s your best way to respond to those who’ve hurt you? 7 Reasons to Be Kinder to People Who Have Hurt You, 7 Ways to Break a Habit of Judging Others. Four PIllars of Misery When you find yourself with that frustration, look at your priorities. Somehow, you just never seem to have time for anything, and it gets more and more frustrating with each passing day. In the English-speaking world, the novel is usually referred to by its original French title. Often it is the rich who promote such a view, thinly disguised as concern for the poor. While you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, being kinder to people who’ve hurt you will prove what a wonderful and intelligent person you are. This is everyday life. However many no’s you need to feel good about your yes’s, striking a healthy balance make you happier. We get sucked into this fantasy that, if only we accomplished all our dreams, our lives would be worry-free. Don’t wait for life to change. Professional athletes, CEOs and actors can be - and often are - as miserable as ditch diggers, janitors and fast food workers. There are stacks upon stacks of self-help books that will promise you love, happiness, and a fabulous life. This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my 20s. Maybe, carbs just aren’t good for you. Contentment hides in the boring days. The best way to respond to unkindness is to smile and be kind to those who have hurt you. It takes time, regular work, failing, and … Do good things, and good things will happen to you. Another reason to be kinder to someone who’s hurt you is because it can soften your attitude toward them. If you look at some shows that have an ugly feel to them, or a nihilistic sort of feel to them, you'll usually find a group of cynical, unhappy, miserable people behind the production. Happiness is a byproduct of living a calm, stress-free life. The rain setting in after you get home. There are certain circumstances in life that makes a person the way they are. Stephen King has called Donald Trump a “miserable self-entitled infantile fucker” after the current President refused to concede the election. Just like too much comfort is bad for your happiness, so is too little. Miserable people are often terrified of being alone. Being kinder to them is a smart way to respond to them. Your kindness might make them reconsider their actions. To be any kind of happy is better than being miserable about something you can't change_Max Quotes -Moeketsi Louw. Be kind to people, and they’ll be kind to you. They depend on you being stuck in it. And that one thing is to make them miserable. Miserable jobs can be found in every industry and at every level. It sounds pleasant but being asked to smile is an extremely coercive requirement. When you feel as if the universe is “out to get you,” of course you’re going to see traps and hidden agendas everywhere — even though, for the most part, they don’t exist. Patience is a virtue. Many people make good money off this idea. Many of us can’t find the right words to say to the people who’ve hurt us. This is not a good long-term strategy. It’s a common cliché for a reason. 10 Ways to Deal With People When They Feel Miserable Use their name, be patient, and invite them into the conversation. Categories: Happiness Relationship They will definitely notice this personality trait and they will respect you even more than ever before. Khalil Gibran said, “Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.” Remember it the next time someone hurts you. Miserable people find the worst in every situation. Try, try, try. And life will be more beautiful for it. At first, it’s scary to be by yourself. The people in your environment, the relative state of your health, the things you have to do and that happen in your life — miserable people don’t look at these as choices, but they are. Even if they won’t admit their mistake, your kindness will simply drive them crazy and they will leave you alone. Life is not fair. Sure, you can respond to them as mercilessly as they’ve been to you, but this will only make a bad situation worse. Patience is a virtue because few things of merit happen quickly or easily. Focus on solutions, not problems. Votes: 2 The truth is there are a million ways to be happy — most of them small to the point of being ... Be kind … They’d rather spend their time with folks who aren’t good for them than face the negative chatter in their mind. This is not a good long-term strategy. Miserable people take this as an insult, but it’s just the reality of our universe. Being rude or vengeful will make you feel worse and can even cause you lots of problems. The answers are exactly the same as the answers to the previous question. Maybe, you can’t function on six hours of sleep. Miserable people, however, stay too complacent for too long, and, eventually, they fall into the habit of dreading everyday life. How to Be Miserable actually does belong in the positive-psychology section of the bookstore, but there is a problem with positive psychology and a problem in the field of mental health: We have taken certain normal, natural human emotions — like sadness and anxiety, disappointment, despair, even bereavement — and we’ve reclassified them as disorders. Sit with the failure until you’ve done so, and you’ll navigate life a little more smoothly from here on out. Don’t work in a toxic environment because the job pays well. Feed them! Then there’s the opposite view. Instead of looking ahead and figuring out how to move forward, they overthink. Don’t just surrender and let life pass as you lament its dilemmas. The more days like that I can rack up, the better. Eventually, however, you’ll learn to accept and show yourself compassion. You just have to look for the good in it. How to use miserable in a sentence. “So many of them wind up unhappy or wind up broke. If you live to be 82 years old, you’ll have about 30,000 days on this planet. See more ideas about quotes, me quotes, words of wisdom. Others luck out and are born into miserable families, or were given a head start and encouraged to be miserable by teachers and friends growing up. I'm feeling very useless, stupid and lonely. I always pity someone who’s hurt me for being such a miserable and hateful person. “What to do when life is miserable,” I suppose there are those of you out there that don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s not about making a million dollars, becoming world-famous, or flooding your brain with dopamine. Being kinder to people who have hurt you is both a skill and an art. Unfortunately, you can’t see it if you’re stuck in some marketer’s pipe dream. Sadly, as we say in Germany, “Without health, everything is nothing.”. Gossip about them, name call and discriminate if you can. Popular Nigerian book author and lawyer, Reno Omokri has said that many are miserable today because they married in a hurry. Friday, December 8 — The weekend is here, and it’s time for office Christmas parties! If you’re kind to people who have hurt you, you will have nothing to feel guilty about. Jul 21, 2017 - Explore Angela Walsh's board "miserable people quotes", followed by 140 people on Pinterest. You don’t have enough patience. Make things. 23. The more you smile, the more you’ll realize it makes you just as happy as being smiled at by others. The official religion of modernity is happiness. 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